Cats and Christmas

Once there was a human sized cat named Marlo. He had a long tail and pretty and curly whiskers. His mother's name was Patty and his girlfriend's name was Bobbilinda. He was a happy cat.

Marlo lived on a secluded island named Ga near the North Pole. Santa Claus was his best friend and they regularly met up with each other to have tea and maybe some cookies with green and/or red sprinkles.

One day, on the 5th of December, Santa Claus decided to start his annual toy production. Marlo went over to Santa's trendy upscale apartment to talk about Santa's business plan. Marlo was a very clever cat, and in no time at all, they were able to figure out the best way to go that Christmas.

When the meeting ended, Marlo licked some sprinkles off his paw and proceeded to leave. Suddenly, an elf ran into the room and screamed very loudly, his cute little hands on his smooth milky-white cheeks.

Marlo was frightened, and he ran away. Santa looked at the elf and told him to stop screaming. The elf dropped his hands and started to pant. "Sorry, oh wise Santa, but I bring grievous news. Your wife, Mrs. Claus, has fainted in the toy room and is now rendered unconscious."

Santa jumped up and ran out the door, leaving the elf in the living room. The elf shrugged and went to look in the refrigerator.

Meanwhile, Santa called Marlo on his cell and informed him of his wife's accident. Marlo rushed to the factory and went to comfort poor Mr. Claus, who was sobbing uncontrollably in the sick room, his wife's limp hand in his.

Marlo patted Santa's shoulder and left the room quickly and awkwardly, because he felt uncomfortable with crying men. He ran out of the factory and went home, where a plate of steak lay on the counter, with a note from his housekeeper.

"Sory I em out toddy, n-joy ure meal :)" Marlo sighed and ate his steak, then he went to his room to weep in silence. He was very tired, and his missed his brother Edward.

The next day, Santa called Marlo up. "My wife is better now. She's still a little weak though. The doctor says that we should go on holiday because there's too much stress in her life. Can you take over the Christmas plans for me?" Actually, Santa Claus was lying. He was sick of Christmas duties and he wanted to run away forever.

Marlo, being the good and faithful friend that he was, agreed immediately without thinking practically. Bobbilinda would probably have scolded him for it if she had been there, but Marlo was too happy with the thought that he was giving instead of receiving that Christmas. He totally had the Santa Claus complex.

He called up his father to tell him the news.

"Hi, how are you, Dad?"
"Good."
"I'm in charge of Christmas this year Dad!"
"Oh?"
"Yes, Santa has to take care of his wife so I'm doing it. Isn't that great Dad?"
"No."
"WHAT? WHY DAD?"
"Because."
"But he's my best friend! I need to be useful this year Dad."
"Unhh."
"Please let me do it! Allow me please, Dad."
"No."
"I'll be good I promise. Please please pretty please with a red cherry on top with sprinkles and icing sugar and chocolate sauce and chopped peanuts Dad."
"Okay."
"Thank you so much! I love you Dad!"
"Ditto."
"Goodbye! Have a great Christmas! I'll visit you and Mam after everything okay Dad?"
"Okay."
"Bye Dad! Give my love to Mam Dad!"
"Yes."
"Farewell Dad!"
"Bye."

Marlo hung up. He was exhausted. His father was a difficult man, but Marlo had managed well. He then went to go pick a fight with his housekeeper.

Soon, it was Christmas. Marlo had everything ready. All the auto-piloted jet planes were ready to send all the presents for the children. Also, the bad children were getting polyester underwear this year. Charcoal had gone up in price, so Marlo had to find something cheaper that also burned well.

Everything was set. Marlo was so pleased with himself. He sister Kae would finally acknowledge that he was not completely an incompetent ball of fur. The elves then notified him that it was time to send out the jet-planes. They gave him a silver controller with a big red button.

"Is that mine to press?!" Marlo asked, excited. "I have never pressed a button of such a pretty shade of red before!" The elves smiled at his noobness. "Just press it. Just press it. Just press it." they chanted.

Marlo took a deep breath and pressed the button with just the right amount of force. The elves cheered and everyone ran off to go to the after-party in Santa's basement. There were nachos, artificially flavoured cheeze-ballz, spaghetti soup and a small selection of chocolates with liquor injected inside.

Marlo took the chocolates and went outside where he gobbled them up while staring blankly at the night sky. It was all so beautiful he supposed. "Merry Christmas," Marlo whispered.



The next day, Santa came back from his holiday in the South Pole where he and his wife went to see famous penguins and attend a Jonas' Brothers concert. He raved about the 'other pole' to Marlo, who listened attentively.

"Thanks for keeping things in order man," Santa said, punching Marlo's fist-paw. "No problem dude," Marlo answered, feeling young again. "It was a great experience." Santa beamed. "I'm so proud of you, my besty." Marlo nodded sagely and then there was an awkward silence.

Marlo then stood up. "I've got to go man," he said. "Bobbilinda is waiting for me." The two said their goodbyes and went their separate ways to their respective appointments. Marlo ran out, feeling happy with the world.

... And they all lived happily ever after. THE END>