Misery's diary

I'm an idiot for believing that he shall ever return. No, he's gone, and it's all my fault. I was far too careless with my words. Cassie's always scolding me, calling me thick and useless. Dania tells me that I'm too unaware. So yes, I agree that I am those unpleasant things, and more. I hate myself for being so stupid.

Then, of course, there's this whole issue of missing him. I'm disallowing my worthless self from missing him. He was Dania's, anyway. I mean, she did dump him, and he was never mine--only almost--so I am not allowed to retain any more wistful sentiments in regards to him.

I did fancy that I loved him, and he me, but those were silly thoughts. He was still mad about Dania, and was I just--oh my, yes--the rebound girl. Oh no. To think I believed that he was interested in me.

Oh I am a reckless fool. Like as if he would care for ugly, senseless me. I never struck his fancy in the least. Oh all those times we talked. I thought we were going somewhere. What a pretty little mess I had been making. Oh asinine me.

But there. I need to stop dwelling in the past. I was a fool, and he left. End of story.

Oh that fateful day. I know where I went so horrible wrong. I now know. I really am a senseless fool. I should never ever ever in 3 billion centuries have mentioned that offensive little word, but I did, and I shan't ever forgive myself.